Thirty Photos

When I made mom's funeral arrangements, one of the benefits of the "package" that I chose was an Everlasting Memorial. I was instructed to gather up some photos of mom throughout the years, label them and bring them into the funeral parlor where they would make a DVD for us. They would also put it online, so that family and friends who weren't able to come to her memorial service could enjoy the photos along with some of my memories of her. (Folks who view it online will also have the opportunity to add their own memories to it.)
I must say...I loved looking through the old pictures. It was fun to see how much she and her brother both resemble their mom. And how much my sister looks like mom. And how much my oldest daughter looks like mom too! (Me...I take after my dad.) Lucky for me, most of the pictures were already marked with the year and who was in the photo.
I went through boxes and boxes of pictures, setting aside my favorites. I even pulled a few out of some albums. The earliest ones were from the 1920's. They're pretty odd I must say. Her baby picture is sweet...but I'm afraid that after that...well...let's just say that it was obvious that mom grew up in the Great Depression. She and her brother Bob looked like street urchins. Their stockings were always sagging revealing their dirty, skinny little legs. Through most of her childhood, mom had that "Dutch boy" haircut. A bob with bangs. There were a lot of pictures of her late teenage years...usually she was posing with her girlfriends or with fellows in uniform. There's one I particularly liked that was signed "To my favorite sailor - Love, Lois" I figured it was for her brother who had joined the navy...most of her beaus seemed to be in the Army or Air Force. There were several pictures of mom with dad before they were married. She was wearing pants rolled up mid calf, anklets and saddle shoes. Dad had long trousers, a tee shirt with the sleeves rolled up and he always had a cigarette in his right hand. There were lots of photos from the fifties...just not of mom. (Those are the years that my brother, sister and I were born...so we are in most of those pictures...mom must have been on the other end of the camera.) There are a lot of family photos from the sixties...great clothes and glamorous hairstyles. In the seventies, there were even more family shots. Seventy-nine is when my dad died and we were lucky to have taken a great family photo at mom's birthday party, two weeks before dad died. In the eighties, I had my girls...and mom was their only grandparent...so you know that we have a lot of pictures with the three of them. By the end of the eighties, we had moved in with mom...and have been here ever since. That means that from then on...there are more pictures than all of the other years put together. Holidays, special events, parties, vacations, cookie baking, tea parties...even just hanging out...we took pictures.
Once I had collected all of my favorites, I started sorting through them. Picking out the ones where mom looked her best...and ones that really captured the moment. I had it really narrowed down. Or so I thought. I called the funeral parlor and asked them how many would make a good DVD. I was shocked when the answer was "Thirty. Well...maybe a few more would be okay." I started counting the ones I really liked...I was close to one hundred and fifty. Thirty. Mom is eighty-seven. Thirty photos to cover eight decades?
I have spent the last couple of weeks going through them again. The joy I felt going through them the first time is gone. Having to eliminate so many snapshots of mom's life has been really hard on me. I have a grocery bag labeled "Mom's photos we're not using." I've put so many in there already...I had to quit for a while because it was making me so sad. It feels like I'm putting away the memories...and it's depressing...it makes me cry. I think I've got it down to about forty-seven...and there are three on the computer that I for sure want in the DVD but I haven't printed them yet.
Tomorrow I'm going to make an appointment with the funeral director again. Maybe he can cut me some slack...and make an exception in the "thirty photo" rule. I hope so. If not...I'll wait a few days and tackle it again. I sure don't know how I'm going to set aside close to another twenty pictures though.