"The Joy of Gardening"....Bah Humbug!
Our front yard is not large. It consists of three tiers on either side of the front stairs with a small patch of grass beyond the row of roses on the top tier. The middle tiers each have an azalea, a rose and some heather. The bottom tiers house daisies, succulents and a couple more azaleas. Reading this, it sounds pretty nice actually. The truth is...it's pretty overgrown. Okay, it's really overgrown. And I only mentioned the plants that are supposed to be there. (And the ones I know the names of.)
On occasion, I will go out and "clean up" the bottom tier on the right. For some reason, it's the easiest to deal with. There are a lot of little bulb plants there, in between the rest of the plants and if I accidental pull them out, I can just poke them back in the ground...not a big deal. The bottom tier on the left has a lot of this "ground cover" stuff that is a bear to pull out. I really hate the thought of dealing with it.
Yesterday, I thought I'd work in the yard for a little while. Starting on the bottom right tier...of course. (The lesser of the six evils.) I pulled out all of the dead stuff and popped up a few weeds. It looked better. Wanting it to go from "looking better" to "looking good" I decided to throw some bark dust over it. I also had planned to take a couple of potted plants from our back patio and put them in that tier...to fill in the blank spots. I went and got the shovel, ready to bark dust everything. Well...it dawned on me that it made no sense to do that and then dig the holes for the new stuff...so I decided to finish the planting first. I was getting ready to dig the holes...when I realized that it didn't make sense to plant something below the overgrown bushes that I had to trim in the second tier. It would just make trimming them harder...dodging around the newly planted flowers. I went back to the garage and got out the trimmers. I'm trimming away at the way-overgrown heather, azaleas and pretty red stickery bush and I'm making a mental note of how many different types of spiders we have living in our yard. Tons. Tons of spiders. Once the bushes are trimmed I got the little rake and raked everything out. Better. But now I can see how much Snow on the Mountain is there...and more bloomed out bulbs. So I sit on the second tier and start pulling the weeds and cleaning out the dead stuff. I have now been out there for hours. And I'm really missing our old neighbor Eunice. Eunice was a ninety something year old woman who had lived next door to us since I was a young girl. Her yard was perfect. She loved to work out there. And she would regularly come over to our house, ring our doorbell, asking if we minded if she weeded our yard...since she was out of things to do in her yard! Needless to say, we never turned her down. She now resides in a nursing home...and at 101...she still helps them with their gardens! What a doll! Well, I knew Eunice wasn't going to save me from what I had started...so I just kept going. Once the second tier was done...I started on the third tier. More weeds, more bloomed out bulbs, more spiders...and now...snails. Why did I ever start this? I had to take a break. Looking around, I decided that it looked very much like a F-Bomb (Flora Bomb) went off in our front yard. Although I had started out tossing the plants I pulled out into the yard debris bin...that became too tedious very quickly. So I just started tossing them on the sidewalk and the driveway...whatever was closer. "I'll sweep them up later..." was my thought. And it sure wasn't "later" yet.
After my break...I got right back to work. Picking and tossing, picking and tossing. The next thing I knew, I was singing a little song in my head..."Pick a little, toss a little, pick a little, toss a little. Pick, pick, pick, toss a lot, pick a little more. Pick a little, toss a little, pick a little, toss a little. Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick!" (Sung to the tune of a song from The Music Man..."Pick a Little, Talk a Little.") That was it...the moment I knew I had snapped.
I finished the top tier. My husband came home from work and begged me to stop. "Honey, you're going to be sore!" But it was too late...I already was sore. Sore, tired, overheated, itchy and scratched up. He was a sweetheart and cleaned up after me...as he so often does. (It's the plight of anyone who marries a sanguine personality like me.)
I haven't been out to the front yard yet today. I'm afraid. Afraid that I've started something that will never end. Sure, I'll plant those new flowers out there. And I'll throw that bark dust around. But those weeds will be back. I just know it. And then...there's the other side. The three tiers that I didn't even touch yet...because they were in even worse shape. It's simply a never ending job. I hate a never ending job. And that's why...I hate yard work.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Hospice in the House
Many years ago, mom's doctor suggested that we set up a time to speak together about hospice. "No way!" I thought. Hospice is what you have happen when there's nothing left to do but wait for death. We certainly weren't ready to wait for death!
A couple of years later, mom was diagnosed with mild to moderate Alzheimer's Disease. In hindsight I see that we had really moved through the mild stage in our ignorance (or was it denial?) and she was truly in the moderate stage. I studied up on the disease, a little at a time, because taking in too much too soon was devastating to me.
About two and a half years ago, I left my job of 26+ years to be mom's full time caregiver. Mom is now in the final stage of the disease. Hospice has been involved for almost one and a half years now. My attitude towards hospice has changed dramatically. They are most definitely not here to "wait for mom's death" with me. They are here, instead, to help mom live more fully and comfortably the rest of her life...and to help me (and the rest of our family) to be a part of that life.
I was skeptical at first. I had spent years documenting all of mom's care, being her eyes and ears at the doctor's visits, ordering and dispensing all of her medications and tracking her reactions to any changes in them. I had stayed with her every time she had been hospitalized, being her voice (especially after dementia had taken such a hold on her). My main concern was that if she were on hospice, she would be denied something as simple as an antibiotic for a bladder infection. There was no way I was going to let mom die from an untreated UTI...after all...it's not like we were living in a third world country!
Now...I will be eternally thankful for our hospice team. They have lightened the load I carry tremendously. They are my extra eyes...who notice changes that I might miss (and they know the importance of those changes). They bear the brunt of the resistance/frustration that mom puts up when it comes to bath time. That's a blessing for sure! One of the most appreciated things (for both mom and me) is that they provide a nice break for us...from each other...conversation-wise. Mom gets tired of me I'm sure. I'm always there. And after spending 35 years working as a waitress, I miss being able to spend the day chatting with people who are able to carry on an interesting conversation that makes any sense.
Summing things up...hospice has provided me with information, instruction and tools to make my job of being mom's caregiver easier. They have also been a wonderful source of support to me...assuring me that the care that I've been giving mom is top-notch...and that it's okay for me to choose to take a nap over doing the dishes, vacuuming or working in the yard. One other very important thing they have given me is the awareness that my taking care of my mom at this time in her life is just one of the many blessings that I've been given. It is a big thing, to be sure...but it is not my everything. I also am blessed with a wonderful husband, loving daughters, supportive siblings, many close friends and a deep-rooted faith that God is with us every step of the way. Praise the Lord!
I am thankful every day that I opened the door...and that hospice is in our house. God bless them all!
A couple of years later, mom was diagnosed with mild to moderate Alzheimer's Disease. In hindsight I see that we had really moved through the mild stage in our ignorance (or was it denial?) and she was truly in the moderate stage. I studied up on the disease, a little at a time, because taking in too much too soon was devastating to me.
About two and a half years ago, I left my job of 26+ years to be mom's full time caregiver. Mom is now in the final stage of the disease. Hospice has been involved for almost one and a half years now. My attitude towards hospice has changed dramatically. They are most definitely not here to "wait for mom's death" with me. They are here, instead, to help mom live more fully and comfortably the rest of her life...and to help me (and the rest of our family) to be a part of that life.
I was skeptical at first. I had spent years documenting all of mom's care, being her eyes and ears at the doctor's visits, ordering and dispensing all of her medications and tracking her reactions to any changes in them. I had stayed with her every time she had been hospitalized, being her voice (especially after dementia had taken such a hold on her). My main concern was that if she were on hospice, she would be denied something as simple as an antibiotic for a bladder infection. There was no way I was going to let mom die from an untreated UTI...after all...it's not like we were living in a third world country!
Now...I will be eternally thankful for our hospice team. They have lightened the load I carry tremendously. They are my extra eyes...who notice changes that I might miss (and they know the importance of those changes). They bear the brunt of the resistance/frustration that mom puts up when it comes to bath time. That's a blessing for sure! One of the most appreciated things (for both mom and me) is that they provide a nice break for us...from each other...conversation-wise. Mom gets tired of me I'm sure. I'm always there. And after spending 35 years working as a waitress, I miss being able to spend the day chatting with people who are able to carry on an interesting conversation that makes any sense.
Summing things up...hospice has provided me with information, instruction and tools to make my job of being mom's caregiver easier. They have also been a wonderful source of support to me...assuring me that the care that I've been giving mom is top-notch...and that it's okay for me to choose to take a nap over doing the dishes, vacuuming or working in the yard. One other very important thing they have given me is the awareness that my taking care of my mom at this time in her life is just one of the many blessings that I've been given. It is a big thing, to be sure...but it is not my everything. I also am blessed with a wonderful husband, loving daughters, supportive siblings, many close friends and a deep-rooted faith that God is with us every step of the way. Praise the Lord!
I am thankful every day that I opened the door...and that hospice is in our house. God bless them all!
Monday, May 25, 2009
What's on your refrigerator door?
It has been said that you can tell a lot about a family by what's in their medicine cabinet. I beg to differ. You can tell a lot about what's ailing a family...by the contents of their medicine cabinet. I think I could get a pretty good idea what a family is about by looking three other places...namely: their bookshelves, the front of their refrigerator and in their backyard.
There was an article in The Oregonian (yesterday?) by Larry Bingham called "Back into the backyards: How do you use them?" That article got me thinking about the difference between our front yard and our backyard. The backyard being our personal space...and the front yard being our public face. Right now...our front yard is a work in progress. We have planted a few new things and have mulched a little...but that's about it. Most everything there has been growing and growing and overgrowing for many years now. It will take a lot of energy to get it back under control I'm afraid. Our backyard is also pretty overgrown. However...it's still a great place to be. My husband is a wonderful outdoor cook...using both the grill and the smoker...and he always makes enough food to share. Gone is the swing set, wading pool and vegetable garden of years past. They have been replaced by comfortable chairs, a couple of tables and a hot tub for our old achy bones.
If you look closely at our bookshelves, you will notice that easily a third of the books are cookbooks (and half of those are cookie cookbooks!). Another third would be spiritual books. The rest are a combination of kids, travel, gardening and reference books...with a couple of novels thrown in for good measure.
Our refrigerator is like an open book. Both sides of it...and the door as well...are covered...and I do mean covered...with assorted magnets. Some were souvenirs, others are advertisements and some that were just too darn cute to pass up in the store. They hold up over two dozen comics, some inspirational quotes, a few photos, a POLST (physician's order for life sustaining treatment) form, a couple of good fortunes out of long gone fortune cookies and one especially intriguing horoscope. Also on the side of the refrigerator is a magnetic pocket cubby crammed full of recipes, receipts and other miscellaneous stuff.
What kind of a picture does this paint of our family? We are comfortable, well fed (physically and spiritually) folks who really enjoy things that make us smile. There is nothing pretentious about us. We love having other folks join us...and when we do have guests...we make sure that they are comfortable and well fed too.
There was an article in The Oregonian (yesterday?) by Larry Bingham called "Back into the backyards: How do you use them?" That article got me thinking about the difference between our front yard and our backyard. The backyard being our personal space...and the front yard being our public face. Right now...our front yard is a work in progress. We have planted a few new things and have mulched a little...but that's about it. Most everything there has been growing and growing and overgrowing for many years now. It will take a lot of energy to get it back under control I'm afraid. Our backyard is also pretty overgrown. However...it's still a great place to be. My husband is a wonderful outdoor cook...using both the grill and the smoker...and he always makes enough food to share. Gone is the swing set, wading pool and vegetable garden of years past. They have been replaced by comfortable chairs, a couple of tables and a hot tub for our old achy bones.
If you look closely at our bookshelves, you will notice that easily a third of the books are cookbooks (and half of those are cookie cookbooks!). Another third would be spiritual books. The rest are a combination of kids, travel, gardening and reference books...with a couple of novels thrown in for good measure.
Our refrigerator is like an open book. Both sides of it...and the door as well...are covered...and I do mean covered...with assorted magnets. Some were souvenirs, others are advertisements and some that were just too darn cute to pass up in the store. They hold up over two dozen comics, some inspirational quotes, a few photos, a POLST (physician's order for life sustaining treatment) form, a couple of good fortunes out of long gone fortune cookies and one especially intriguing horoscope. Also on the side of the refrigerator is a magnetic pocket cubby crammed full of recipes, receipts and other miscellaneous stuff.
What kind of a picture does this paint of our family? We are comfortable, well fed (physically and spiritually) folks who really enjoy things that make us smile. There is nothing pretentious about us. We love having other folks join us...and when we do have guests...we make sure that they are comfortable and well fed too.
Well...here we go...blogging. Wish us luck.
It's a gorgeous Memorial Day here. Cool...right now (which I like) and sunny. Our large flag is in a closet in the "front room" which is barricaded by a futon piled high with boxes of stuff and a bookshelf weighted down with even more boxes of...memories I guess. I was not willing to move everything to get into the closet, so I secured a smaller flag to our front railing this morning. There is a red poppy attached to the flag's post...from the Veterans of Foreign Wars. As I set out the flag and straightened up the poppy, I said a prayer of thanks for the men and women who lost their lives during their time of service to our country. God bless their souls...and the loved ones who they left behind.
I'm excited about this blogging thing. I write a lot. It's good therapy. There are so many changes taking place in our world. Writing helps me to look deeper into what's going on around me, to examine how I feel about things and to then to either let them go, if need be...or cherish them even more. Writing can be an eye-opening experience. (Which is pretty darn exciting.)
It's a gorgeous Memorial Day here. Cool...right now (which I like) and sunny. Our large flag is in a closet in the "front room" which is barricaded by a futon piled high with boxes of stuff and a bookshelf weighted down with even more boxes of...memories I guess. I was not willing to move everything to get into the closet, so I secured a smaller flag to our front railing this morning. There is a red poppy attached to the flag's post...from the Veterans of Foreign Wars. As I set out the flag and straightened up the poppy, I said a prayer of thanks for the men and women who lost their lives during their time of service to our country. God bless their souls...and the loved ones who they left behind.
I'm excited about this blogging thing. I write a lot. It's good therapy. There are so many changes taking place in our world. Writing helps me to look deeper into what's going on around me, to examine how I feel about things and to then to either let them go, if need be...or cherish them even more. Writing can be an eye-opening experience. (Which is pretty darn exciting.)
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