Conversations With Mom

Over the past year, mom's ability to hold a conversation has all but disappeared. She is able to understand what I'm saying, if I say it slow enough, use simple words and give her ample time to think about it. Processing what she hears is a lot of work for her. Responding is even harder. Sometimes she'll get a few words out...like a running head start...and then she forgets where she's going with it. When that happens, she will either babble sounds and wait for a response from me, or she will start with her chanting and rocking...tuning out everything around her.
There are times...fewer than before...and further in-between...when we have a conversation that makes sense. I treasure those moments. And for that reason...I'm writing them down here. They won't be in any order...other than as they pop in my head at this point in time. (My words will be in italic print...mom's in regular.)

Tucking mom in bed I gave her a kiss and told her goodnight: "Have sweet dreams. I'll see you in the morning." "I don't know who the hell you are...but I trust you." "I'm Debbie, and it's good that you trust me because I am worthy of your trust." "Okay. Good night."

Again...tucking mom in bed, on Mother's Day a year ago...which I thought for sure was going to be our last one together: "Good night. Sweet dreams." "Do I know you?" "Yes. I'm Debbie." "Do I own you?" "Yes, I'm your daughter." "Oh...okay. Good night."

Mom usually sees people around her, who I don't see. She often will respond to the question of "Are you hungry?" with "I'm not...but they are." One day I was bringing her out to the dining room to have breakfast and as I set her oatmeal in front of her she said to me..."It's rude of you not to acknowledge them." "I'm sorry...you all are welcome to join us for breakfast also." "That's better."

In the middle of the night mom called out as she often does, "Mom! Mom!" I went up to see what was going on. "That man was here. With the long hair. That famous one." "I'm not sure who you are talking about." "You know. That famous man. The one with the long hair. Usually...the men that pass through here are not famous...but this man was." I still don't know who he was. My sister guessed it was Jesus. Our social worker guessed the actor Ricardo Mantalban...who had just passed away. Who knows?

One of my favorites...while watching the Vice Presidential debates last year: "Mom...see that woman? She wants to be the Vice President of the United States." Mom looked at the TV for a moment and turned to me and said "She doesn't have a chance." I chuckled a bit and then called her attention back to the TV. "See that man? He wants to be the Vice President of the United States." Mom studied the TV for a little longer and then said, "A man that handsome...could be KING!" That's my mom!

As our social worker was leaving after a visit one afternoon, she told mom good bye and headed towards the door. "God be with you!" mom called out to her. She came back and hugged mom around the shoulders. "Thank you...that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day!" Mom then turned to me and said, "Why don't people say that more often? They should." We all agreed on that one.

Well...I'll close off here. No doubt more conversations will come to my mind and I'll write a "Part 2" to this blog. Or...maybe...we'll still have more conversations to remember!