Fire In The Hole

I'd wager that most everyone who has made spaghetti and toasted garlic bread for dinner...has at least once burned the bread. I admit, I have been guilty of extra-toasty garlic bread on several occasions. I was told long ago that eating burnt toast curls your hair...or puts hair on your chest. (Depending on who I listened to.) I know for a fact...neither of those statements are true.
Anyway...guess what we had for dinner last night...that's right...spaghetti and toasted garlic bread! The spaghetti sauce was simmering, the pasta was boiling...everything was looking...and smelling...great. I buttered up the sour dough bread and sprinkled it with garlic salt...turned on the broiler and popped it in the oven...on the top rack...door ajar. So far...so good. Mom was already seated at the table...waiting for her dinner. I gathered up the dog dishes so I could feed the dogs before we all sat down to our dinner.
We have one of those "galley kitchens." Long and narrow. It is affectionately known as a "Five Butt Kitchen"...but all of the butts have to be in a row. If you open the dishwasher, oven or fridge...or a drawer for that matter...no one can get by.
Now I'm not sure what exactly happened...if I had too much wiggle in my walk, or if I bent down to pick up something...but my booty bumped the oven door and smacked it closed. And I didn't give it a second thought. That is...until I smelled the smoke as I came back into the kitchen after feeding the dogs.
When I opened the oven door...smoke poured out. That oven was smoking more than our Traeger smoker! I've never seen so much smoke. Mom was in the dining room shouting "What's going on?" I shut the oven door quickly and turned on the exhaust fan. Jeff came rushing in the kitchen...grabbed a couple of potholders and pulled the rack out of the oven, with the flaming...yes flaming...garlic bread on top. He carried it out to the back yard and set it on the patio. In the meantime...of course our smoke alarm in the hallway is going off. "Beeep, beeep! Evacuate, evacuate! Smoke in the hallway, smoke in the hallway! Beeep, beeep! Evacuate, Evacuate! Smoke in the hallway, smoke in the hallway!" The dogs are running around in a panic and mom is totally disturbed. I open the front door (trying to get a breeze to blow through...and turn on the big box fan by the back door, trying to blow more of the smoke out of the house. Jeff is fanning the smoke alarm, trying to get it to stop screaming. Just then the smoke alarm in the basement started going off! (I guess my big box fan was not only blowing smoke outside...but also down into the basement.) I'm telling you...there was a lot of smoke. In fact...I think I heard the neighbor's smoke alarms going off. I'm really surprised no one down the street called the fire department.
Once things quieted down...and aired out a bit...I gave it another shot. I buttered up some more bread...sprinkled a little garlic salt on it...and put it under the broiler. Only this time...I watched it...like a hawk. Never taking my eyes off of it. It turned out okay. I would have liked it better if it were a little toastier...but I wasn't taking any chances...it was the end of the loaf.
Tonight we're having BLTs for dinner. Maybe I should refresh my memory on how to best deal with grease fires.