Stepping Back in Time

Yesterday I received a phone call from a woman I had worked with, at Dan & Louis Oyster Bar, for 26 years. Judy was a co-worker and a friend. She called to tell me that her mother had died. I had also worked with her mother, Ruthie, at Dan & Louis, for 26 years. In this day and age, that's kind of an unusual statement. For several reasons. First off, it's unusual for workers to stay employed by the same restaurant for 26 years. And here you have three people...same restaurant...same 26 years. And two of them were family. Two generations! And that's just the small picture.
When I started at the Oyster Bar, most of the people who worked there had been there 20 years or longer. And several of the women worked well into their senior years...one of my partners retired when she turned 80! The woman who trained me as a waitress, retired after putting in 50 years, the cashier retired after 47 years, and my last partner at 45 years. Although there were some women who came and left...many, many women...came and stayed. Now, when you have a group of women who come to work at a restaurant when they are young...and they stay until they are old...their personal lives go through many changes over that stretch of time. They marry, have children, raise those kids...and often help them get their first jobs. No doubt Ruthie helped Judy get her job there. (And actually, during that time...Judy's daughters also did their own stints at the Oyster Bar.) Three generations...all behind the counter cooking in the same restaurant!
My daughters accompanied me on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day" beginning when they were in kindergarten. They tagged along every year, peeling shrimp, preparing half-shells, cutting lemons, setting up the restaurant in the morning, waiting tables with me at lunchtime...and splitting up the tips at the end of the day! It was fun for everyone. And by the time they were old enough to get their own jobs...guess where they went...to Dan & Louis! And why not? They already had put in over 50 hours of "training" over the course of ten years! Jenn and Steph knew the place inside and out. They knew the owners, my co-workers and "the regulars." They knew the menu and were comfortable there. It was a great first job for them. Again...two generations working together in the same place, at the same time.
Today, I was thinking about how many other employees there worked with their own children. I can think of at least a half dozen more...and two more who also worked with their granddaughters!
In the "Purser's Room" (a waitress station in the back of the dining room) there was a little sign that said "Clean it up yourself...your mother doesn't work here!" And someone scribbled next to it..."Oh yes she does!" And it was quite true.
The restaurant itself has been in operation over 100 years now. It is currently being run by the fourth generation. Another amazing fact. When I started working there, I met the second generation. (They were then retired.) I worked for the third generation. It was a good fit...I think for all of us. My boss' children were small at that time. His daughter would be running around the restaurant while I was setting things up, pretending that she was a waitress. His youngest boy spent most of the time crawling under the front counter looking for any change that might have fallen on the floor, out of reach of the cashier. His oldest boy was a bookworm...holed up in a corner table, quietly reading. After my boss finished his morning duties, they all had ice cream sundaes for breakfast. During my last few years there, those little boys were the ones signing my paychecks.
Years ago, this scenario would have been the norm. A business would be handed down from one generation to the next. Employees would stay...forever. Their families would be connected. I consider it a privilege to have worked in a place such as that. It was like stepping back in time. The dynamics of it were so interesting. The kids did their best (most of the time) not to embarrass their parents. People were more careful with their criticism, not wanting to cause trouble with both the child and the parent. And when compliments were given...pride was felt by both the parent and the child. Double bang for your buck.
Three generation households are making a comeback. They too, used to be the norm. But as people got more mobile, they often became more detached from their family. Now, as in the past, many families are finding it necessary to either move back in with their parents, or have their parents move into their homes, with their families. I personally think it's a great idea. I love it. Maybe I'm old fashioned. That's okay.
Perhaps we'll soon see more places like Dan & Louis Oyster Bar emerging. Two and three generations working together. Just as we're seeing the return of the three generational households. I would like things to slow down a bit. For people to stop and reassess where they are, where they're going...and to step back in time...and reconnect with their families...their roots.
I'm not talking about living in the past. After all, here and now is all we have. I'm simply saying that we shouldn't be so quick to let it all go. Mixed generations working, playing and/or living together is a blessed...live...history lesson in the making!